Canadian immigrant trapped between two cultures

fight-about-money

Mina and her husband are a ordinary Canadian immigrant family with a male dominated structure.  Husband is the provider, and works to support the family.  Mina stayed home to look after the two children.  Mina gets a good allowance to buy groceries and pay for the home expenses.  Husband paid for everything, and the children always have whatever they want.  Things went smoothly under this set up until the kids have all grown up, went to universities and left home.

Mina gets a very comfortable allowance,  approximately the salary of a clerk, which she used to buy groceries and still manage to have some money left, enough to put into her own savings account.   However, life becomes monotonous once the kids left home as Mina do not have the children to fuss about.  Mina would like to do things, and finds herself always asking for extra money from her husband, which her husband resents.

Over the years,  her husband has accumulated wealth, but Mina is kept out of the loop and does not know anything about her husband’s  finances.  She could see the local Canadian women having equal participation in family’s finances, and she begins to resent the family set-up.

There began to be a lot of fighting, her husband thinks she only love him for his money and began to be even tighter with his money.  Mina thinks that the husband is unfairly selfish with her.

Worst of all, Mina discovered that her husband was having an affair.  After being confronted, the husband left the mistress primarily because it will hurt the family’s honor in their own community.

Mina never worked outside the home after marrying her husband and has no marketable skills.  She has no chance of employment and cannot be independent from her husband.  She is very unhappy and feels trapped in her marriage.

Were she in her home country, this would be a normal situation, and she’d just manage along.  But this is Canada, and she has all the right to live a fulfilling life.  If she leaves her husband now,  she might not get her proper share of the family wealth, as her husband can hide the family money.  If she does nothing, she’d continue to be unhappy.  So she is in a dilemma as to what to do.