Boss for the Day
Here’s a tip on how to handle the non-critical decisions in everyday life.
You can negotiate and reach an agreement on any major decisions, but for the trivial daily decisions such as what to eat, what brand of milk to buy, which birthday card to pick, what time to eat, which movie to watch…. take turn on being the BOSS FOR THE DAY. When you are the boss for the day, you make the decision. If things don’t turn out the way you expected, just face the consequence, accept the blame.
Many times, one person wants to make the decision, and another may not want to make the decision, but wants to veto a decision or complain. So this solution makes it fair.
This does not mean that you have to enforce this rule all the time, but should a disagreement occur on where, what and how, then the boss for the day can step in and just make the defining decision.
In the case of Adam and Eve, Adam is boss on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Eve is boss on Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. If Adam feels like pizza on Monday, and Eve wants to go to a Chinese restaurant, Adam being the boss for the day, can just say PIZZA. He can choose to be nice to Eve and let her have her way, knowing that when Eve gets her turn, she can also choose to let Adam have his way. The boss for the day can also choose to be noble or generous.
After all, isn’t that what friendship or love is all about? That you care about the other person, but at the same time, you don’t want to feel being dictated to, or having to give in constantly? That it is about cooperation and fairness? Even the monkeys demand fairness. (See the videoclip) So try it!
(This rule might not be practical in certain authoritarian or paternalistic culture. But hey, this is perfectly fine here in Canada).